The way I see it
I would like to know who is responsible for designing or creating kid related items or assigning age brackets for their use because I honestly feel they have never been a parent and if they are they are the biggest morons on the planet.
For instance the beloved game of dont break the ice ages 2 and up.... A happy little polar bear is skating across the ice in his ice skates that do not fit in the hole he is supposed to stand up in. . He's gesturing thumbs up- but in all honestly I feel like he should be flipping me the bird as atleast I would receive some amusement from this worthless game. A big smile stretches his face:Uh-oh; What's that tapping sound? A block of ice just disappeared from his pond. And there goes another one and lets continue to beat the ice until all the pieces are gone. I just spent the last damn 10 minutes trying to put the pieces inside this little square so that the pressure and tight space will hold the ice cubes in the frame. NOt too mention the lack of cuticles I know have from trying to shove the ice blocks in the last corners and missing.
Now after I have bloodied my knuckles and fingertips from placing the icecubes in their oh so 2 years old user friendly frame, I know have to flip the frame over and place the middle finger slinging polar bear on top without breaking the ice yet again. After shoving his little skate into a shot that is far too small and then holding my breath so he doesn't fall over, I hand over a plastic mallet to my 3 year old and tell him to hit one block at a time. He hits one block however with enough brute force to drive a a metal poll 5 foot into a concrete slab, he has happily taken out all the ice blocks in one fatal swoop in a matter of .5 nanoseconds.
So I dare ask what assface designed this game and set age limits on it that no 30 year old has patience putting together ever.
Tampons....
The way I see it- Tampons should be free. Why do we have to buy something for an action that makes us miserable human beings? Society says that once a month we have to bleed in order to make offspring- thats just what woman do. Honestly- who gave me the choice. I dont think I saw that choice on my checklist during birth bc its something I would have probably not said to myself " how heck yes- I would like to have a period". If society says that woman must be the childbearers- then society should pay for the maintenance and upkeep. Think of it as an extended warrenty.
On a related note - men should never ever ever have any type of an excuse to complain. The maintenance and upkeep on a daily basis by a woman to please a man and because society says we have to do these things is quite excessive.
I would love for a man to live in his spouses shoes for one day. During that day he should have to experience every routine a woman goes through in order to understand its effect on her mood. We must be descended from Apes because I find it unnatural to grow hair in places where hair should not grow on a woman so we have to take the time to wax, shave, or eletrically remove it. Then comes the period issue....
I dont think a man ever had the traumatic experience of being a 14 year old girl sitting in class with that uneasy feeling to only realize she's "coming of age" and now the next 40 years are plagued in paranoia of "did I leak?". To a man this makes no sense but to all the ladies out there we've all been involved with the old "can you check" phenomena. A true gal pal to see if you have had any leaking issues. This absolutely embarassing experience goes on for a lifetime but society says and history says we are the strong species and we must go through it.
So when you complain that we take to long in the bathroom or to get ready for an event, Remember all the plucking, tucking, pruning, and bitching we go through just to make you HAPPY
Bubble Baths
The way I see it- Bubble baths are the most vile actions you can do to yourself. If you really think about what a bubble is you would think the same way.
Bubble baths are meant for relaxation- to let go of the day's tension and wash yourself of whatever sins you committed that day. Basically you add some high priced perfume or fancy pants smelly colored preparation in liquid or crystal form in order to make the water foam, suds up, or bubble. Lies I tell you.
Nothing about this is natural. Think about it- you are sitting in a vat of hot water while all the nastiness from the day oozes down into the tub. Still don't see it? I'll spell it out for you. You are now floating around in the gunk that you've just washed off. God forbid you shave in that bubble bath because now your sharing the tub with thousands of little hairs, gunk, and bodily fluid (because you know you peed just a little when you got into the tub!).
Now that you realize how vile bath time is- can we petition to stop having love scenes in movies int he bath tub. If I am grossed out by my own lovely gunk in a bathtub why would I be turned on by seeing some man in a tub- You know he doesn't wipe his parts, he sweats, and quite honestly he takes up valuable real estate in the tub in which you are supposed to be relaxing in.
The way I see it- Bubble baths are only acceptable if you have a never ending overflow tub like those swimming pools so that the water is constantly refreshed and hot, you should never share, and quite frankly if you absolutely have to take one- make it a quickie
